Soon my time here in Bali comes to an end. These have been the best, most interesting, most beautiful, and most instructive ten months of my life. In these ten months, I have learned so much about myself, more than in all the previous years of my life combined. I have grasped many lessons from the past decades of my life and could see a common thread.
Bali symbolizes much more for me than I could ever express in words. Bali has become my home, even though I don’t know if I would want to live here permanently. Definitely not during the rainy season. But it feels more like home than I have ever felt in Germany.
Here, I made the decision to permanently leave Germany, got my tattoo, which symbolizes and means so much more to me than the motif it reflects. It tells my story, my past, present, and future, represents my thoughts, feelings, and hopes, and shows how I now see the world. I have met people here who have enriched my life in a way I cannot express. Both brief encounters that opened up a completely new perspective for myself or others, where we helped each other in one way or another. Even if we can’t always see the fruits of a decision or a kind word or deed, it has an impact. Everything we do, consciously or unconsciously, influences us and others. You cannot not communicate, and you cannot not be. Every action has a reaction and effect. I have met so many people here, where the contact may have been brief, and I may never see them again. Nevertheless, in those moments, I felt a deep connection.
I have also made many acquaintances here where I don’t know where they will lead or if they will lead anywhere. But we greet each other, enjoy a smile or a wave. And I have been given friends here, some of whom are now scattered across the world. But these people now have a place in my heart.
Above all, I have met people/friends here who have taught me more than they are probably aware of or intended. Through these people, I have come to know myself better. As I mentioned in a previous post, we don’t need other people to give us value, even though many people think and subconsciously live that way. We need other people to reflect ourselves. To show us what we cannot see and understand about ourselves. Everything we react to in another person, what triggers us, annoys us, or puts us in positive feelings, shows us our innermost selves. I thank from the bottom of my heart the people in my life who have helped me understand certain things better. Not through what they said, did, or didn’t do, but simply through their existence and being in my life at that moment, allowing me to recognize what I have recognized and learned.
Here in Bali, I have made the decision to leave my home country and start a new life. A life that I couldn’t have imagined even in my wildest dreams or fantasies. This doesn’t mean that I live in heaven on earth and lead my dream life. It simply means that I have stepped out of my comfort zone and completely reinvented myself. Comfort zone does not mean, as most people think, feel, experience, or perceive, that everything is great, so there is no need to move away from it. Comfort zone simply means the familiar. Even when the familiar is bad, terrible, and not pleasant. But we humans are sometimes quite foolish. And many people prefer to be consciously unhappy in the familiar than to seize the opportunity to enter the unknown, with the chance to find heaven on earth and be happier than they could ever have imagined or dreamed.
We spend most of our lives in this hamster wheel, which each of us knows. Some better than others, and for some, it is more conscious than for others. We have blinders on and see only what we want to see, evaluating everything through the lens of the perspective we currently have, thanks to our upbringing, society, experiences, fears, norms, or issues that follow us over generations and resurface, whether in our great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, or ourselves. Breaking this cycle requires courage, courage, and people who are in the right place at the right time to open your eyes.
As I said, I have experienced, lived through, worked on, learned, doubted, fought through, and experienced so much here in Bali that it has emotionally and at the core of my being changed me more than all life experiences before. In the sense of how I began my post, Bali has opened my eyes and shown me the red threads/connections of my past. For this and for all the people in my life, whether they were only briefly there, are still there, or will be in the future, I thank from the bottom of my heart.
The people who are specifically addressed and should read this will, I think, know that they are meant. Because special relationships are usually not one-sided. A special thanks to Hayden, Callen, Brent, Nathan, Sheryll, Megan, to whom I am infinitely grateful, just for being there, sharing with me and everyone else what they have shared, and simply for being who they are and giving what they give. All are great teachers, both in the literal sense of the word and simply by the fact that they support others, share their knowledge, skills, or passions with other people and for some are a rock in the surf, helping others permanently or just for a moment to escape everyday life and reveal an oasis of peace or a realm of possibilities. THANK YOU for allowing me to get to know you. You have enriched my life.
In this sense, whoever should read this post, be grateful for the people in your life or to whom you react in any way. They show you WHO you are. Look closely, listen, and get to know yourself a little better. Don’t ask why someone is like this or that, why they act like this or that, or why they treat you like this or that. Ask yourself what this person teaches you, what this person tells you about yourself.
Thank you very much for the time you have taken to read my words. As grateful as I am for my time here in Bali and as much as I look forward to a reunion at another time, I am also very glad now to embark on my further journey into the unknown, new, and outside my comfort zone to get to know myself better and become the person I didn’t think I was. But to become the person I have always been without knowing it.
Believe in your dreams, fight for your dreams, your passions. But question yourself and your motives from time to time and ask yourself why you are exactly where you are right now.